June 15
Today was the first day that I enjoyed hiking on the trail in a really long time. I think that maybe I finally have the right combination of shoes, insoles, ankle and foot taping methods, and I’m hiking at my own pace, listening to my body.
I woke up and the rest of the inflammation from the steroid injection had dissipated and I actually felt good.
I got up around 5:00 and started hiking early. Not for anyone, but because I wanted to – the climb up Kearsarge pass was really beautiful. Lots of lakes, waterfalls and snow covered mountains. I saw Barbara on the way up and Maui and a few other hikers as I was descending. I Came upon two Aussi girls and we talked about hiking the PCG Pacific Crest Gourney (Journey with a G) and “thru camping” vs thru hiking. They were rejecting the pressure to hike the entire trail, and just wanted to have fun on their own terms. It was refreshing to hear other hikers talk about their plans. It made me feel like my roadtripping idea was somewhere on the right track. They were really cool and I hope they catch up to me after their detour to Independence.
It was so pretty. It was just a constant uphill to the top of the pass, but it wasn’t actually that steep. I felt pretty good hiking and I just went really slow – delicately putting each foot down, every step intentional and gentle. Not the hard slamming of my feet into the ground trying to do more, be more, hike faster, further, more more more. No, I’m only hiking 6 miles today. I can take my time. Each step can be meaningful. Every time I took a step, I gently placed my heel down on the ground carefully. Considering every step, I want to be gentle with my ankle with my feet. I don’t need to be rushing. I don’t need to be forcefully stepping. Trying to rush. Trying to keep up. Trying to do more. Trying to do more more pushing my body pushing further faster.
There were tons of campsites and places to camp. I don’t know why Paul had told me otherwise. It felt like a little lie.
I was going to camp right at the PCT after the 7.5 mile Kearsarge pass trail, but I kept going and ended up camping 2 miles later – right under the ascent to Glen Pass. I started getting really stressed about the ascent to my first major pass, especially since I had skipped Forrester Pass. I crossed some snow field and did did absolutely fine, but as I came across to the other side, I received a mansplaining lecture by some 20-year-old going Southbound about how to walk across snow, which I had literally just done, followed by, “I don’t want to freak you out” referring to Glen Pass. Fuck you.
Today is the “ideal” date to enter the Sierra, but I’m halfway through it already. There’s still a lot of snow. The passes are still dangerous. I didn’t want to be hiking alone, not here. I’m still mad at Paul for leaving me here to hike alone, after promising he wouldn’t.
I camped in a pretty remote spot by a lake that had icebergs in it covered in snow. This is the first spot that I camped on the PCT alone that felt really remote and a little scary. I’m not sure what it was exactly about that exact spot, but it just felt very remote and not inviting at all. Lots of jagged rocks falling into the water below. Icebergs in the cold dark blue water. It looked like a polar bear might pop out from behind a rock somewhere. There were no plants, and nothing green – just rocks, ice and a pond that was basically a repository for melting snow. I was only camped there because I had to summit Glen pass the next morning and I was trying to do that before the snow started melting. While I was camped and cooking dinner, I watched two people ascend over the pass and I got a little freaked out. I would have to do it though. I can’t turn back now. I have to keep going. I have to prove to myself that I can do this especially since I didn’t go over Forester pass.
It’s funny being around hikers all the time because you forget that this is not normal. None of this is normal at all. We’re not all mountaineers in real life and when you’re around hikers who are just going over these crazy mountain passes, you feel like you should be doing it too, but not everyone actually should if you don’t have the right training. I know how to self arrest, but beyond that, I have no freaking idea what I’m doing. Should I even try? I don’t know. I’ll find out in the morning.
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